Head first.

 

I’m the type of person who gets an idea in her head and doesn’t wait one second to run with it.  I can’t stand that stagnant waiting for the perfect time or perfect way to do something.  If it’s made it’s way into my brain…it’s happening.  Remember the whole marble incident??  In a matter of 15 minutes I decided I was going to build a marble coffee table…went to buy marble…broke the marble…and it’s still sitting on my parent’s garage floor.  While Gary adamantly disagrees….I WILL finish that coffee table!  Dammit.  It’s like I see the potential in something and I don’t even think about what it will take to get there.  I just go.  Take Healing Heels for example…I decided ‘hey..let’s start a shoe company‘ and started it.  I had no freaking clue how to manufacture shoes.  Or how to run a shoe company.  Or how to do anything really that has to do with any of it but that didn’t matter.  I saw the potential and did it.  Same with my wedding photography business…I saw a life I wanted and a career that made me excited so I shot my first wedding.  Terrified and making a million mistakes but I did it because that’s what I had to do to get where I wanted to go.

 

I’ve spent a lot of my professional life feeling like this was a bad thing.  Like maybe if I slowed down and made a four point plan and learned how to be a baller at Excel I would be more successful.  I’ve always felt like my go-get-em attitude is something that ultimately backfires and becomes a fault instead of something that sets me apart.  But I’ve gotten to a point where I think that is wrong.  I mess up SO much.  I mean I could write a novel on all the mistakes I’ve made and ways in which I am not where I ultimately want to be.  But for six years now I’ve been failing and I keep going.  I may have started a shoe company (technically still starting it) on somewhat of a whim but I work my butt off every day trying to learn how to make it better.  Literally 90% of the time I feel lost and defeated…but I keep going because I want it to work so badly.  My photography business is everything to me but if I’m being completely honest it’s still not where I want it to be.  The worry and struggle is still always there but it’s worth it because I love it so incredibly much.  I may dive in head first but I never stop swimming.  And you shouldn’t either.  It’s so easy to look around at what feels like the world zooming past you.  But it takes guts and hustle and a hell of a lot of struggle to really go after what you want in life.  To take the tiniest step forward and pop the champagne because at least you’re not standing still.  It’s exhilarating and terrifying and it’s in your blood so don’t ever let anyone tell you that is a weakness.  Because I will be the first to tell you it is and always be the strongest part of who you are.

 

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