Random Thoughts of the Day: the break-in

 

It was part of the bundle so we opted for the alarm system.  Being home alone all day in a house that is mostly surrounded by woods kind of creeps me out…so I liked the idea of knowing I had some sort of protection.  I didn’t think I would like it at first, but every time a door opens or closes there is a ‘ding’.  So if I was in my office and someone snuck in the back door I would ideally hear them.  Not sure what I’m supposed to do once I hear them…but at least they can’t hide in my closet.

 

So…it was the middle of the day and I decided to take a shower.  I let Goose out, made sure all the doors were locked and went on my way.  I finished showering and had just put on my Lush Coffee Mask (which looks like someone spread you know what all over your face – but man it’s the best) when I heard the ding.  My body legitimately froze and started violently shaking all at the same time.  I grabbed my phone and opened the app which tells us what time every door was open and closed.  ‘Sliding door closed: 2:05′

 

It was 2:05.

 

I shut the bathroom door and put my arm up against it to block it.  Like that was going to stop this serial killer form getting to me.  I thanked the Lord that Goose was in there with me and immediately called Gary.  My voice was shaking like crazy when I told him how scared I was and that I heard the ding.  He also checked the app and was in his car on his way to me within seconds.  I sat in the corner of my bathroom…shaking, completely naked with a brown mask all over my face…waiting for my impending doom.  I mean it’s one thing to be scared someone is in your house…it’s another to be scared someone is in your house while you’re naked.  Finally, Gary called me back and told me the police were on their way.  I reminded him I was naked and was not leaving this bathroom to rectify that problem.

 

Long story short, Gary and the police arrived at the same time (thank God).  Just for reference, Gary works 20 minutes away.  He was home in about 10.  Turns out our alarm system had malfunctioned because the sliding door was closed and locked.  But man was that an intense 15 minutes.  Gary checked the whole house just to make me feel better and ultimately, our lives went on.  Except now, I am a total scaredy cat.  I think I watch too much Criminal Minds because a car drives by and all the sudden I’ve concocted this idea in my head that this person is casing my house and knows I’m here alone and is going to come back and break in while I’m in the shower.  Then he’s going to torture me and ultimately kill me unless the FBI arrives in time which one can only hope…but you know there’s always the girl in the beginning of the episode who doesn’t make it.  I just have to pray I’m the one at the end.  The struggle is real.

 

In honor of my fake but oh-s0-real life or death story…it’s another installment of  **drum roll please** Random Thoughts of the Day (try to contain your excitement)!

 

  • When I was little, my brother and I were at a family friend’s house while our parents all went out to dinner.  A real life person broke in that night and it was legitimately terrifying and to this day our parents don’t believe us.  But we’ll always know the truth.
  • And if anyone asks this will also be the story of when someone broke into my house – you know, for the shock factor.  😉
  • Back to that coffee mask…seriously the best ever.  Go buy it.
  • I think in my old age I have become a crier.  I blame This Is Us and Michael Scott leaving The Office.  So many emotions!!!!
  • Speaking of The Office – best. show. ever!
  • I went through like 571 way to make coffee in the morning.  I was hell-bent on figuring out how to make the best coffee possible.  Pour over.  French press.  Finally landed on a good-‘ol fashioned coffee maker and Folgers.  I guess you just don’t mess with the classics.
  • Katharine told me the other day that I am in the center of her heart – and even when she’s old we can still play together.  I literally don’t think I could love something more (Emmy too).   I also think she might only love me because I bring her candy.
  • To anyone that hasn’t tried Halo Top ice cream…go buy it right now!  It’s delicious and you can *technically* eat the whole pint and not feel bad about yourself.  PSA: stay away from Mint Chocolate Chip…it tastes like toothpaste.
  • We had a mouse.  In our house.  A real…live…mouse.  And Gary decided not to tell me that he woke up one morning and saw it run across our kitchen counter.  He waited an ENTIRE DAY until he caught it to share that little tidbit.  I can’t decide if I love him or hate him for that.
  • I’ve been working on this Wedding Guide for my couples over the last month.  Talk about so. much. work!  If anyone would like to proofread it before I print it I would be forever grateful.
  • Oh…how about this crazy February weather we’re having!  I have been driving around with my windows open, eating outside and not wearing a coat.  I’m super stoked about it and also a little concerned for our planet.
  • I started watching Big Little Lies last night (read the book first if you haven’t) and so far am very impressed.  Highly reccommend it.
  • I’m off to take a shower….but setting the alarm first.  Obviously.

 

 

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