You know the phrase…beautiful inside and out. Well Anna is the definition of that sentence. Everything about her is beautiful. She is gorgeous, incredibly kind and thoughtful…caring. When you are with her you feel like you could talk for days. Not about anything in particular but about everything. I remember meeting her to go over some details for her wedding and we ended up in this conversation about life. I can’t tell you how long it lasted but I know I left feeling like my life just got a big breath of fresh air. And that is Anna in a nutshell…she breaths life into everything around her. She carries this brightness everywhere she goes and shares it with all the people around her. I knew this girl was something special from the minute I met her. She’s an incredible mom, wife, friend…and above all else…an incredible woman.
When Lauren asked me to be a part of #wcw I thought “how ironic.” Lauren and I met because she shot our wedding back in June (and did an AMAZING JOB) and I had just been pouring over all of our pictures last week thinking to myself, “Wow, what a special, beautiful, perfect, glorious, wonderful day that was…. But our life looks nothing like that now.”
What a perfect opportunity to share a little bit about what our life DOES look like. Here’s some background: John and I met one another, got married in 7 months, we both have little boys that live with us full-time…so there has been a lot of adjustment going on. Since our wedding day, John and Braxton moved in, we bought a new house, moved, Tyce started kindergarten AND I just got a mini-van! WOAH!
While all of these things are absolutely exciting and wonderful, lets be real, along with life’s greatest joy’s come life’s greatest challenges.
-Life as a single mom was a lot easier than a married mom of two.
-John and I fight…A LOT.
-Marriage is a lot harder than I expected. (just backing up my last point)
-I hate saying I’m sorry to my husband. But Jesus makes me do it. (John is a lot better at saying he’s sorry than I am)
-I LOVE JOHN!
-I know that John is the perfect partner strategically picked by God for me to share my life with.
-Our marriage, relationship and life would be 100% different and often times easier, but less fulfilled, if we didn’t have both personal and a collective relationship with Jesus.
-We have baby momma drama.
-Being a step-mom has been really challenging for me.
-I yell at my kids
-When I am home someone always wants a piece of me.
-Although I am hardly ever alone, sometimes I feel alone.
-Sometimes I wonder if my kids are tiny terrorists disguised in cute little boys’ bodies.
-I am always doing dishes.
-John is better at doing dishes than I am.
-I am disorganized.
-I feel guilty that I have a job.
-I feel guilty when I’m not working enough and I’m home with the kids for too long.
-I wear yoga pants almost everyday.
-I tend to thrive in chaos.
-I am fearful of not growing (emotionally, spiritually, relationally).
– I let my feelings dictate my actions. That usually makes me my own biggest problem.
-I don’t like admitting the above point because that means I have to take responsibility for my own actions.
-It pains me to have surface level relationships. I cannot function without deep meaningful REAL connections with people.
– Often while sitting in the drop off/pick up line at school I am wondering to myself, “is this all there is to life?” (sometimes I am okay with the answer being ‘yes’ and sometimes I’m not)
However imperfect and messy life might be I believe that so many people are walking around wondering, “am I the only one?” Am I the only one who struggles with this, feels this or thinks this? There is SO much power in connecting in knowing that you are not alone. THAT is what I love about Lauren and what she has done with #wcw. She has created space and opportunity for women to do be real, not just Facebook real but real life real.
The good in my life outweighs the bad, there is no doubt about that. But being human there are times I do wish some of the things on that list weren’t a part of my story. But then I remember that there are gifts in being imperfect and challenges produce growth and nothing worth it was ever easy. Then I am reminded about what God said to Paul as he pleaded for his thorn’s to be taken away, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corintians 12: 9-10)