You always hear people say…”what a difference a year makes.” But it wasn’t until today that I really understood the magnitude of what that sentence can mean.
A year ago today…I sat in front of my doctor and heard him mutter the words…”we found some cancer.” I remember getting really hot. And becoming very aware of how often I was blinking. He went on to talk for at least 20 more minutes but I didn’t hear anything he said. I just sat there…thinking about how this was going to break my whole world. I was thinking about how I was going to tell Gary. How I could possibly get the words out of my mouth that were going to change our lives forever. My hands were shaking and I was holding them really tightly in my lap…I was doing everything I could to show the doctor just how fine I was.
I remember the drive home so vividly. I had promised Gary I would call him right after my appointment but I knew I had to just get home. My hands were shaking even worse than before and breathing become rather tricky. I’m pretty sure that is what a panic attack feels like. I remember walking up to the door with shaking keys in my hand and stopping. I knew the second I walked through that door nothing would ever be the same. I knew that was my last chance to just keep life as it was…even for just one moment. I opened the door…still not knowing what I was going to say…and Gary turned and looked straight at me. All I could get out was…’It’s not good.” Very profound, I know. But he knew exactly what I meant.
That day was the bottom. I’ve never been more scared, unsure, defeated…and just plain mad in my life. I had just found out I had cancer and I had no clue what to do. It seemed like from that point forward it was just more bad news after bad news. And as doctors were throwing words at me like chemo and surgery and radiation…all I could think about was my business. What was this going to do to my business? How could I shoot weddings with cancer? It didn’t take long to figure out that we are built to handle a lot more than we think. That the things I thought I couldn’t do…were exactly what I was meant to be doing.
One year ago today I hit bottom. I was ready to throw in the towel and let my fear win. But I didn’t. I promised myself I would take that day and turn it into something powerful. Something that would move me forward so much faster than I ever could. And as I sit here today…I can honestly say I have had the best year of my life. Sure…there were some unfortunate parts. But those are the things that got me to where I am today and I am so thankful for that. Cancer gave me perspective And most importantly perspective on fear. All the things I was so afraid to do before, don’t seem as scary anymore…and I’m doing them!
I am living proof of what a year can do. A real story of ‘what a difference a year can make.‘ I know how many of you are staring something so scary in the face and can’t bring yourself to take that first step. I know what’s it like to feel paralyzed…to let fear win. But I also know what you can accomplish if you realize the scariest things in life…really aren’t so scary after all.
Today I am doing one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. I’m announcing my first workshop. This is something that has been stewing up in my head for several months now and I thought today was the perfect day to let it out to the world. Yes…I’m terrified. But I also know so whole-heartedly that I can take the things I’ve learned this last year and help people. Really help people. So here it is…the grand unveiling of my shiny new workshop entitled…A Year to Change Your Life. I could babble on about it for a few more paragraphs but thanks to my very good friend, Joe, you can watch the video below for a lot more info.
I am limiting this workshop to ten people since it will be a very intimate environment. We’re going to be getting personal…so get ready.
For THIS WEEKEND ONLY tickets are $100 off! Don’t miss out. First come first serve so scoop them up now! You can click here for more info and details.
I am so excited for you!!!
You are so amazing, Lauren! Congratulations on the workshop!!
Congratulations Lauren! Your influence on these 10 photographers will be powerful for them…can’t wait to hear all about it!
So exciting, Lauren! I’m so bummed we’ll be out of town that day, otherwise I would totally sign up. Maybe I can hire you for some mentoring?